An up and down (mostly down) Texas Rangers season so far can only mean one thing: it’s time to talk about ballpark food.

We all have those food items that we can’t just wait to try as soon as we get to Globe Life Park.  There are the standards like a hot dog with a nice cold Dr. Pepper or overpriced alcoholic beverage of your choice.  There are also the items that have become staples over the course of several years like the notorious “Boomstick.”

Then we have those items that people just always go to but their taste never justifies the craving.  An example is the generic stadium bowl…? plate??… plastic dish of nachos that sometimes come with the death sentence of having the artificially yellow cheese sauce poured over the top of them instead of in a nice hole in one of the corners… OH that is a disaster about ten minutes down the line.  First of all, you can’t pick up any of the nachos without getting the cheese on your fingers.  Nachos 101 is leaving adequate space for the consumer’s fingers to pick up part of the chip and enjoy the various toppings covering the rest of the chip without having to do the incredibly gross and unsanitary habit of licking your fingers between bites.  Second, that cheese gets cold faster than anything on the planet.  Then you’re left with a huge amount of cold, flimsy tortilla chips covered in less than splendid nacho cheese.  There’s my rant on stadium nachos.  Don’t forget to tip your waitresses; goodnight!

No, we’re not done yet.  We’re here to review another new item on the menu at Globe Life Park this season.  We’ve already covered the legendary Dilly Dog in an article back in April.  Stepping up to the plate next?  The 7th Inning Cinnamon Roll.

This review will be a two man job as both myself (Dylan Duell) and my fellow Rangers writer and ballpark food enthusiast Darien Clark took on this challenge on separate trips to Globe Life Park.

Here are a couple other news outlets’ description of the item:

The Dallas Observer describes the 7th Inning Cinnamon Roll as this, “..a cinnamon roll that is deep-fried, drizzled with chocolate and raspberry sauces, and dusted with powdered sugar.” ABC’s WFAA Channel 8 News describes the same item as, “A classic iced cinnamon bun, battered and deep fried to golden perfection. Topped with raspberry and chocolate sauce..”

Two thumbs up for the 7th Inning Cinnamon Roll, @Rangers! pic.twitter.com/bq61LDusXs

— Matt Mahrer (@mattmahrer) April 11, 2018

Price: $10

Where it’s sold: The “State Fare” stand behind section 41.  

Now to our thoughts on it:

Darien: The heavily sugared, iced, cinnamon roll that is prepared initially is at a perfect doughy and warm texture for our mouths. With that precision, it is then rolled in batter (aka Texas’ bride) to be deep fried. Once it is delicately taken out of the deep fryer, it is cooled to fulfillment to top it off with more icing, scrumptious chocolate and raspberry sauces, and of course, powdered sugar because that’s what it needed to make it ‘complete.

“It’s as if a powdered sugar donut and a cinnamon roll had a baby,” said my wife, Brooke Clark. “A baby that was already dressed up and looking delightful.”

Dylan: The 7th Inning Cinnamon Roll immediately passes the eyeball test way more than the Dilly Dog could ever dream of doing.  Every Dilly Dog comes out looking like a miscolored, marginally burnt food science experiment gone wrong, but the 7th Inning Cinnamon Roll comes out looking like the Miss America of ballpark food with a beautifully fried coating and the wonderful mix of colors from the icing and the you-can-never-go-wrong-with sprinkling of powdered sugar on top. One odd feature of this item is putting it on a stick.  Good luck to the person who tries to eat this bad girl off a stick.  That is not happening.

Our grades:

Darien: The brand new 7th Inning Cinnamon Roll at Globe Life Park is unlike any other sweetness my taste buds have ever encountered. I’m the kind of guy whose kryptonite is sweets but even so, the 7th Inning Cinnamon Roll was giant and there was no way this 235-pound dude (who loves his sweets) could finish it, so I had to share it with my wife. Personally, I would definitely buy this item at the ballpark again and again. It is totally worth every penny of that $10. If I were to grade this All-American delicacy, it would be an A+, obviously.

Dylan: To echo Darien’s feelings, I am a guy who loves sweets more than any other type of food.  However, there is no way one person should be able to finish this item themselves.  That probably wasn’t the creator’s intention for its consumption, but it is the item’s biggest problem for me.  Bigger doesn’t always equal better.  By the time you’re two or three bites into the deliciously warm and gooey cinnamon roll center, you’ve realized you’re ready to tap out.  It is just so sweet that you get that coated feeling on your teeth that I’m sure your dentist can kind of sense wherever they are miles away.  Kind of like how your mom told you your ears ring when someone is talking about you.  Anyway, I think this item would be better if it were just two or three cinnamon rolls that were the size of the cinnamon rolls you pop out of a can.  Not a Cinnabon sized one.  It tastes great; don’t get me wrong.  An item deserves a few points off though if you get to a point where you just have no interest in finishing it.  My grade would be a B- based on the strength of overall taste and solid presentation but the weakness of being too big and thus, just too much to handle at times.

 

So an absolute endorsement from Darien and a cautious endorsement for me.  This item is definitely one to share with someone.  Be sure to get a knife when you take this thing on too because trying to cut a wedge off with the side of your plastic fork does not work well at all.

Have you tried this item or any other interesting food at a Globe Life Park concession stand this season?  Reach out to me on Twitter and let me (@DylanDuell) know what I need to try next!