The 7 Best and Worst Halftime Shows of December

 

 

There are two types of NBA Fans: Those that leave during halftime to go wait in interminable lines for overpriced nachos and those that stay in their seats to avoid such chaos and appreciate the wonder that is NBA Halftime Entertainment. Halftime shows are the staple of the National Basketball Association and American professional sports. At this point, it would be weird if there wasn’t some way-too-old-guy in a costume doing things no one has ever thought about doing in the empty void between halves. There are certain acts that consistently show up around the League, like the “Chair Stacking Guy” aka “Amazing Sladek.” Or the Red Panda!

 

Anyone can apply to perform at halftime for the Dallas Mavericks, just go to Apply for Mavericks Halftime Show and fill out the form. Many apply but few are chosen to perform, here are a few of the best and worst acts that graced the AAC floor during Mavericks games in December!

 

 

The Ladder Guy aka Uzeyer Novruzov

 

On December 5th in a game against the Charlotte Hornets, “the ladder guy” who is also known as Uzeyer Novruzov surprised the remaining crowd with his ladder climbing abilities.[note]It’s better than it sounds.[/note] It’s unclear whether this was at his request or not but the lights were turned down low and the single spotlight made his act appear a lot bigger than just one man and a 9ft ladder. It also helps that this guy is a professional and did something that probably no one else in attendance could do.[note]Seriously, I would fall down so fast trying to do that.[/note]

 

 

 

 

Dancing Darth (The Amazing Christopher)

 

On Star Wars Night, December 9th in a game against the Pacers, The Amazing Christopher came out dressed like this.

 

 

The act was fine, semi-interesting, and even creative. But after the initial walk around the arena, there wasn’t really anything else he could do or did do. The audience reacted exactly as one would expect. They cheered and laughed at first, and then died down to a peaceful hush while Dancing Darth and the Stormtrooper 5 pranced around and pointed at things.

 

 

 

Lasso Guy aka Loop Rawlins

 

Between halves of a December 7th game against the Kings[note]Yeah, that really bad game where the Mavs were blown out by 31…[/note] Loop Rawlins graced the AAC with his sweet lasso moves. If you’ve ever attempted to lasso a pet or a sibling for fun you know how hard it is to do the things that he’s doing. Like the “Ladder Guy,” the “Lasso Guy” also had the lights turned down with a spotlight to emphasize[note]EMPHASIS[/note] his act. He also had this sweet Orchestra/Dubstep track playing behind him, if he had really cheesy country music playing there’s no way he would have made the list.

 

 

 

K9 Frisbee Crew[note]I Think…[/note]

 

Animals are always tricky, but these guys who I believe are the K9 Frisbee Crew[note]There’s so many K9 Something Crews and this group could just be a few members of a certain crew, also I wasn’t paying attention when it was announced[/note] were great. The dog dropped a few frisbees but that almost made it better because when he/she[note]I’m not a Vet.[/note] did snag one out of the air it made it better. Also, the turnaround-jump-off-the-trainers-back-catch was the best.

 

 

 

Bizzaro Michael Jackson[note]Not the official name[/note]

 

On December 3rd in a game against the Chicago Bulls, an act which can only be described as “Bizzaro Michael Jackson & Friends,” became the new ‘weirdest thing I’ve ever seen.'[note]Which was then quickly overtaken by this video[/note]

 

I’ve tried every combination of google searches trying to find them with no luck.[note]”Midget Michael Jackson Dancing with Monkey” yielded more results than I was prepared for….[/note] This act garnered the strangest most confused reaction I’ve ever heard/seen from an audience. The response could only be described as part shock, part confusion, part semi-amusement.

 

It started with two guys, one in the Michael Jackson costume and the other in the monkey costume, dancing and then doing a few “tricks[note]And by tricks I mean, standing up and making it look like the puppet was standing on the other puppet’s shoulders[/note].” Then they were joined by a guy doing a crab-walk whose feet and knees made a woman puppet and his head was the head of a bellhop who was carrying the woman’s bag. It was, as I said, bizarre. I don’t think this is the same crew but this is what they were doing…

 

 

 

Ping Pong Ball guy aka Mark Angelo

 

Then on December 14th the Mavs were playing the Detroit Pistons and then this guy showed up. This video was sent to me and I almost spit up whatever I was drinking.[note]It’s been a tough season[/note]

 

Turn the sound up for this one.

 

 

This guy is apparently “World Record Ping-Pong Juggler Mark Angelo” and from the infamous words of Tom Haverford, “No one wants to get with jugglers.”

 

 

Simon Sez Guy aka Steve Max

 

Just a few days ago in the “chip fest” of a game against the Houston Rockets, Steve Max aka the “Simon Sez Guy” brought 50-60 audience members onto the court to publicly embarrass them for their lack of basic direction following abilities. The game was entertaining for anyone watching, but it became the worst for this guy…

 

Sound up for this one too.